Man Ban #5: The Popped Collar

Looking preppy isn't about popping your collar. I know lots of guys out there go for that whole "preppy, just walked out of Yale, old money" look. Sorry to inform you, but popping the collar ain't the way to do it - it doesn't make you look rich or cool. It is, in fact, the international symbol for douchiness, just like crossing your hands around your neck is the universal sign for choking.


Furthermore, the more collars you pop at once (see photo above) only exponentially increases the degree of douchiness and must be avoided at all costs. Instead, relax those collars boys. Let them rest neatly and casually against your neck. Don't layer your polos - one per day is plenty.

Just for reference, the only time you should ever wear a popped collar is when you are in this commercial.

This is why you're poor

I came across this little gem of an article today detailing that irreverent publication that travelers everywhere revel in: SkyMall. Apparently, much to my delight, despite the fact that Americans have cut down on buying just about everything in THESE ECONOMIC TIMES, SkyMall is doing great. Seems they've been raking in the ole "doll hairs" (as Roxy likes to say) with no concerns in the world, because people just can't bear to live without things like this.

Now, for those of you who don't know, SkyMall is pretty much the only thing I like about traveling. I hate flying with the burning heat of a thousand suns (way to move 3000 miles away from home, Einstein) but I find myself doing it quite a bit. And SkyMall cures what ails you (and by "ails" I mean debilitating motion sickness and boredom), hands down.

When I was a child, I fashioned my own version of a "Keep Your Distance Bug Vacuum"(it mostly involved a dustbuster and an old broom that I would swing wildly at crevices in my ceiling), so when, as a young adult, I was alerted to the fact that SkyMall sold the Rolls-Royce of bug vacuums, I knew that my relationship with SkyMall would be long-lasting and deep (that's what she said).

Unfortunately, I have yet to actually purchase anything from said magazine, although I think Lisa bought her Slanket from there? If nothing else, she was at least alerted to its existence by a conveniently placed SkyMall on our journey from NY to Las Vegas last year. But I'd like to know, has anyone I know actually purchased, for example, this guy? I've always wanted that one.

Swine Flu Self Diagnosis

It's spreading, and we're all getting a little antsy. Don't want to waste time going to see the doctor? Don't want to step foot in a germy hospital when your immune system is compromised because you (probably) have the little H1N1 bugger already swimming around inside you? Just plain lazy like me?

No worries, the internet to your rescue! Take your pick.

Do I have swine flu?

Do I have pig flu?


And good luck to you!

For Those Of You Who Can't Interpret The Weather

I once (okay many times) made the foolish decision of dating a fool. Among some of the brilliant things he uttered, one of my favorites happened when we were driving with the windows down on a beautfiul, sunny 72 degree afternoon.

He asked me: "Is it nice out today? I can't tell."
To which I responded: "Are you serious?"
And he said: "Yes, I usually can't tell if it's nice out or not."
Me: "..."

So for all of you other fools out there, a little linky link for you: Isiticedcoffeeweather.com

Bargain Ice Cream!

Tonight and tonight only, Baskin Robbins is having 31 cent scoop night between 5 and 10pm.

Matt and Brett, we're going tonight post-Jitlada.

Get Your Volunteer On

Big Sunday, the "largest regional community service event in America" is this weekend. You can volunteer to work on all different sorts of projects and even help kiddies at their lemonade stands to benefit charities for children or volunteer for singles projects.

I'm kind of excited about the Pet Adoption Fair on Saturday morning. Anyone want to spend the morning with some puppies and kittens??

And you get a free t-shirt and snacks for helping out. Score!

Boo on You

for being a beezie, Top Model wannabe. This LA Harbor student from Palos Verdes gives us all a bad name. According to LAist.com, she actually said: "I'm from Palos Verdes. It's a really wealthy community. ... I feel like these [other contestants] are just whack."

I'm sorry? Calling everyone else "whack" because they aren't from PV? You embarrass me!

Spring Stroll This Weekend

This weekend is the Spring Stroll on West 3rd Street between La Cienaga and Fairfax. Many of the merchants on 3rd St will be offering specials, sales, and free goodies on Saturday and Sunday. Best of all, My Open Bar promises at least a few free drinks along the way and (hopefully) some yummy samples from Kiss My Bundt. Let's go!

Mmmm.. Business Cards

Why order regular business cards when you can order Meat Cards?

I think I'll order a stack with my name, phone number, and "Eat Me" seared into the cards to hand out to any fellas I might meet in the future.

RIP Buck Fiddy's

The economy hits hard.

I learned today from Los Anjealous that Roll Inn Sandwiches, or more affectionately called Buck Fiddy's by broke students Westwood-wide, is no longer with us. The only sign of its passing was the "For Lease" sign hanging in the window last week.

Buck Fiddy's, your cheap and greasy midnight delights will be missed by the drunken crowds who are too impatient to wait in line at the In-N-Out down the street, and Westwood will never be the same without the numerous brawls you hosted in front of your lush "dining" area. RIP.

Swine are Getting a Bad Name

As fears about Swine Flu spread, I am growing increasingly concerned about the less worrisome but possibly more contagious pig-paranoia that is bound to follow. Don't let your global pandemic fears infect your love of adorable baby piglets! (ok, so that was an awkward sentence, but commendable for the wordplay, no?)













Also, to stoke the fires of your Swine Flu epidemic fears, a handy Google tracker!

RIP Albert the Owl

I came home the other day and found feathers all over the floor. I knew at once what had happened - Albert, left alone on the mantel as part of our beautiful* mantel display, had fallen into mercy of the paws of Minnie.

It was a tragic scene, and the attack continued upon my discovery.

Albert, you were a good owl and had rigid feet. You will be missed, although you will also remain on the floor in front of the fireplace so you can continue your new life as a chew toy. RIP.


*The term beautiful is used loosely in this context.

BJ Goes Big

Is this news? Has this been around for a long time now and I somehow never knew? Well the other day I was doing my usual walk-by/drool management at the Ben and Jerry's display at my local Ralphs when I spotted the Ben and Jerry's Big Boy variety. Three 1 Quart options- Vanilla, Cookie Dough, and Cherry Garcia. Yay for progress! Now get me a gallon sized Oatmeal Cookie flavor and I will be content.

And look what a cute picture I took - all three sizes in one adorable family photo.

Press Play and She Strips!

Last Sunday evening, I ventured into the Orange Curtain to catch some Britney Spears action with a friend, my sister, and two of her friends. If you ever wanted to catch a good sampling of the Desperate Housewives of Orange County in all their sluttiness and cougar-ishness, make sure you check out the crowd the next time Miss Brit rolls into Anaheim. Take the cougars, girlfriends who dragged their boyfriends in exchange for the dudes getting laid that night, and a handful of gays, and you have your Britney Spears fan club at the Honda Center.
Now, let me preface by saying that I did not expect Britney Spears to actually sing one note during her concert. (I was correct.) But, she did put on an entertaining show and you have to give her credit, that, through all her craziness, she has been around for more than ten years and less than two years after her meltdown, she can still attract sell-out crowds.
Britney did what she was supposed to do – nothing more – nothing less. She pranced around and lip-synched for a good two hours. The show went smoothly except the screen didn’t rise during “Womanizer” and all we could hear was the track playing but no Britney or her dancers. I mean, something had to go wrong, right? It’s the Britster, after all. Additionally, there were no screens where we could see close ups of her face. I sometimes wondered during the show if they intentionally made it such a “circus” as to distract everyone from the main attraction…BRITNEY. She tripped while running offstage at the end of the concert and advised us all not to drink and drive – some good advice and it’s wonderful to hear Britney be a role model.
Lastly, if you want some more Britney trainwreck, check out footage of her hair extensions being accidentally ripped out by one of her dancers at one of her shows last week.

Get Yer Free Chicken!

KFC is giving away a free piece of its new grilled chicken today. Yipee.

Britney Looses Her Hair Again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofivt94N5gY

Top Chef News!

I have been going through Top Chef withdrawals lately. Where else am I supposed to find some good food porn intermingled with reality TV? I've been waiting patiently for the Los Angeles date of the Top Chef Tour to be announced and still no word...

But then today I learned two great pieces of information.

1. Top Chef Masters, a new show with host Kelly Choi (bye bye Padma), will air on June 10th. It is basically Top Chef but with "master" chefs and a different rating system and panel of judges.
2. Top Chef Season 6 will begin filming in Las Vegas next week, according to the LA Times.

I guess I need not fret - there is plenty of Top Chef coming our way!

Jitlada

Delicious and authentic Thai food. I must go. Who wants to go with me?

Lets Save Some Doll Hairs!

Doll hairs.

We all want to save them. No, this is not news, but I would like to share one of my favorite websites that I never shop online without - Retailmenot.com. (And no, I don't work for them or CVS's Minute Clinic - which is awesome, btw.)

I just placed an order on Sephora's website and not only did I score the usual 3 free samples with the online order + 1 deluxe sample with my Beauty Insider + free shipping, but I decided to quickly check Retailmenot and also got a free Philosophy 5 piece kit worth $65! Holler.

DO IT.

Is It Okay To Taser A Naked Wizard..

at Coachella?

Apparently this happened last weekend. (Note: beware of watching it at work.. definitely some naked manness going on.)

Enjoyableness

Lets put these fliers up in our nabe.

Man Ban Lesson #4: The Sock-Sandal Combo

You are all guilty of this one. Or at least you have been at some point in your life. Now I know sometimes you're wearing socks and you have to run outside to take the trash out, so you force your feet into some flip flops and hobble to the curb and back with a major toe wedgie. Okay. Sure, I can live with that. But when you sport this look out of the house, you have gone too far. See example below.
PICK ONE. You make hundreds of minor decisions every day - what to eat for breakfast, which way to get to work, what to watch on TV - why can't the "sock or sandal" decision be incorporated into your daily routine? A socked foot does not belong in a sandal. Put it in a boot or a sneaker or even a tap shoe if you like making an annoying sound when you walk. A naked foot, however, has the privilege to enjoy the liberating feel of a sandal.

I saw this with extreme reluctance, but under very specific circumstances is the sock sandal combo acceptable. When an athlete has finished his workout and wants to change out of his athletic shoes, I can turn my head when he slips into some non-thong sandals. Barely. See below for example.



But just remember, if you're ever not sure if it is an acceptable combo, I can tell you - it's not.

New Faces, Old Friends

On Monday we discovered that there is a face hiding in Brett's hair...

A Warning to The General (Cookie Eating) Public

I never thought I would see this again.

I first came across these self proclaimed "Best Cookie in the World" in 2006 while waiting in line at Bigg Chill. The best cookie in the world? How bold it is to make a claim like that. It must be true. So of course, being the cookie lover that I am, I decided to dig deep in my pockets and fork over the $10 for these bad boys. I could hardly wait to rip that box open when I got home. On the drive home, I read about Bart's cookies on the box and was a little surprised at his recommendation for aeration prior to eating. Really, Bart? But of course, being the obedient consumer that I am, I aerated patiently. Once I was ready to begin devouring the cookies, I grabbed a handful and was extremely disappointed to find them overly browned (a euphemism, of course, for burned). I ate one anyway, and it tasted like crunchy mediocrity - a dehydrated, toasted Chips Ahoy, if you will. Ten dollars for this?!

Obviously, I wasn't going to let something like this slide. I took matters into my own hands and emailed Bart. Sadly, I couldn't locate our email exchange in my email archives, but I will summarize it for you here:

Roxy: Bart, your cookies sucked. Too crunchy. Overcooked. Me not happy.

Bart: Sorry Roxy. Probably got a bad batch. Let me send you a free box.

Roxy: I like free. Please do that. Thanks.

Surprise, surprise -Bart never followed through with his promise. I waited for months, checking my doorstep, every hour sometimes. But no cookies.

Years passed and eventually I moved on and forgot about Bart. I thought the past was behind me. But while walking through Whole Foods a couple days ago, I stopped dead in my tracks - there, staring me right in the face was Bart and his derisive little smirk. It's spreading. The cookies are spreading.

Don't fall for it, folks. Don't be fooled by the promising name and assuming price tag. You will be let down and you will feel hurt and you will feel taken advantage of. And if you go against my warnings and do try them anyway, please tell me everything.

Let's "Pretend" We're Stalkers

After seeing the screening of Paper Heart last night (starring real life couple Michael Cera and Charlyne Yi), we got to (s)talking. Clearly Michael Cera lives in Los Angeles. Clearly we, too, live in Los Angeles. Clearly this is a sign from above that we should make every effort possible to locate Señor Cera. (Right?)

Here is our first set of clues in locating him. Please watch every episode carefully in order to determine the place of residence. Put on those thinking caps, people!

In Honor of 4/20 and Earth Day

I thought I'd post one of my favorite YouTube videos, the Dinosaur Rap. (Get it... Dinosaurs... Earth... and 4/20.)

Also, I tried a Google Image search for a gangster dinosaur, and this is what I got.

The Poor Man's Craigslist

I came across this "ad" on Melrose while I was on a walk yesterday and I now have so many questions. None of the information listed on this flyer seems to be related to anything else.

So far we know:

1. He looks like LL Cool J
2. He wants to meet someone to help him "do things"
   
3. He likes to write the word "chess" over and over

Why would anyone respond to this ad? Who would enlist themselves to help this self proclaimed LL Cool J lookalike with some very ambiguous said chores?

Anyone want to try calling?

Erin Visits!

So we went to the most authentic Mexican restaurant we could find (Cabo Cantina in Venice) and took tequila shots and drank beer in the middle of a glorious day.

Then Erin passed out in the car on the drive home. The End.

This Looks Illegal

And I bet if I was spotted whiffing this in the park I'd end up having to deal with a Mountie. (Well, I guess that last part would only happen if I were in Canada.)

But the sad part of that hypothetical story would be that my chocolate craving, which is usually quite enormous, wouldn't even be satisfied by this gadget.

What are your thoughts on it?

It Will Almost Be Like We're On Top Chef...

I guess I am a little overly enthusiastic about food, but really, sometimes I just can't control myself.

It is National Grilled Cheese Month. If you didn't know this already, your Roxy in Ennui reading privileges have officially been revoked. No blog for you!

For everyone else, I have just discovered something glorious: The Grilled Cheese Invitational. It is a grilled cheese making competition with 3 sammich categories: The Missionary (standard grilled cheese form), The Karma Sutra (any exotic and savory take on the sammich), and The Honey Pot (a dessert sammy).

Registration is open for any willing competitors, or you can go the day of to be a judge. I'll take option 2, please! For only $5 admission, how could you say no?

The North End

An adorable little cafe on Highland just blocks from the beach in Manhattan. This was my delightfully huge Pilgrim Salad. Mmm goat cheese.

Coachella Weekend Mission: Girl Talk

No, not that "Girl Talk." Although that looks fun - I'm willing to accept that as a gift from my blog fans.


YES. This Girl Talk, AKA Greg Gillis, AKA my husband (future tense). Not only is this bodacious babe a brilliant mashup artist, he also studied to be a biomedical engineer. Not too shabby, my future husband. Well as many of you keen folks out there know, Girl Talk is playing Coachella. (Friday night, 9-9:50 pm at the Sahara tent. I'll see you there.)

So it's been a few months since we've last been in the same room, and this time I'm going to do something about it. Friends, I am going to be that girl in the yellow shorts (above, left). I can look past the fact that he's come to resemble Jesus more than I would otherwise prefer. These are minor details that can be changed. This Friday, he will find out that he is indeed my future mister.

Don't judge me.

What if Michael Jackson Never Had Plastic Surgery?

After a discussion on the Age Progression booth at Disneyland (at Innovations next to Pizza Port in Tomorrowland), I decided to do some Googlesque research of my own. I stumbled across this little gem - an age progression of Michael Jackson based on a picture of him from his childhood.

My how things have changed.

FOOD PORN LITERATURE

So I was talking to a coworker of mine who is a fellow foodie, and he was describing the cake he made for his husband's birthday. The text of the conversations is as follows: (Please disregard all my outrageous exclamations and visuals of me drooling on my keyboard)

Coworker: it's pretty basic, but i made it so much better, so much more unhealthy... i did the math and it's like 400 calories a piece
Coworker: anyway it's a devil's food cake
roxy: im sure its worth it though
roxy: what did you do to make it more unhealthy?
Coworker: i added a considerable amount of sugar, chocolate chips, and marshmallows to the batter and put it in 2 13x9
Coworker: it got really tall
Coworker: i cut up strawberries and placed them face down in the center... then put 12 cups of dark chocolate pudding atop.. then the top went on
Coworker: then i heated up the standard dark chocolate frosting, with more marshmallows, milk, butter, and chips.... and dumped it on top
roxy: oh my god! i wish i was your husband!
Coworker: then i shook up some chocolate chips and pecan chips then threw them on the top

Does anyone want to make a replica of this cake with me!?

Giraffe Family Portrait!

Is there anything cuter than a mini giraffe???

I think not.

EJ PHONE HOME

We need to discuss all the fun adventures we have planned!

Contemplations of the Chile Relleno

Yesterday Brett and I decided to venture to Los Tacos in West Hollywood for some of the best Mexican in my neck of the woods.

After doing a bit of research prior to dining, I learned that their chile rellenos were (supposedly) one of the best things on their menu.

A chile relleno. Why would you order it if there is no tortilla involved? If I am going to be eating Mexican food, I would like a tortilla to be in the mix, either in the form of a chip or encasing some sort of cheesy meaty goodness. Low carb Mexican? No thank you. I wasn't sure what was in a chile relleno, but I was quite certain a tortilla wasn't involved. After all, chile relleno translates to "stuffed pepper." I would like to see a cross section of a chile relleno, I thought on my drive home that day. Perhaps the guy over at Scanwiches could help me out.

Should I take this risk?

I ordered it anyway, and it was absolutely delicious. I discovered that in lieu of the tortilla, the entire chile was battered and deep fried, adding a very interesting and unsuspected twist. This led me to wonder, is this how every chile relleno is prepared? Or is this only at the lardy and delicious Los Tacos? (It's not.)

Just some food for thought.

Celebrity Spotting

This morning as I was minding my own business trying to nap while standing up and waiting for the Smith-9th bound G train, I noticed a young lass standing next to me. I almost said "hello" because in my bleary-eyed state, I mistakenly thought I knew her from, you know, real life.

But NO. It was, in fact, none other than cat-throwing, project-runway-losing, tug-boat-living Kenley ("almost Penley") Collins. In all her be-flowered-headband'd glory. She looked exactly as you might expect. Now, I of course kept it cool, lest she grab me and hurl me at some unsuspecting passer-by for giving her the side-eye (ed. note: I HATED Kenely on PR and I have a creepy feeling she could tell).

We sat on the downtown G in the same car for quite sometime. At the Hoyt-Schermerhorn stop, I got off, preparing to transfer to the A/C to get into Manhattan/my job. For those non-NY-ers, there's nothing else at the H-S stop, except the A/C transfer. I expected Kenley to transfer to the A/C like everyone else on the G, but no, she exited the station.

Why oh why would a women employed in the fashion industry (...I assume) exit in downtown Brooklyn?? The only time I have ever exited that station is to go to the ... BROOKLYN COURTHOUSE. Suddenly I realized that must be what she was doing at 8 am on Tuesday morning. I decided then and there that I was witnessing celebrity justice in its best form!

It turns out that I WAS RIGHT.

This now ranks above getting cut off by Britney and K-Fed in a sports car on Sepulveda as my most exciting celebrity experience.

Now, I Love My Food... pt. 2

In keeping with the theme of "food-related overreactions," I must direct your attention to this charming story from none other than (the state Homer Simpson lovingly referred to as) "America's Wang."*

This story gets to remain hilarious and not-at-all sad because no one was actually hurt. Four men in a Pontiac robbed a young women at GUNPOINT for Popeye's Fried Chicken. They actually used the phrase "give us the chicken" while robbing her. The man with the gun then got out of the car and proclaimed "You know what time it is." To which I can only respond, apparently, chicken time?

I have, admittedly, never eaten Popeye's, so I can't vouch for it's deliciousness (or, more likely, greasy-saltiness). But unless that chicken had diamonds and/or heroin stuffed inside, this was a clear case of food-related overreaction.

*That would be Florida, for all of you non-Simpsons fans out there.

A Solution to the Financial Crisis

I got this in an email from my dad.

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,

There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force...pay them $1 million apiece severance with the following stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

Can't get any easier than that!

Whitney Wants

More pictures like this on my blog. So here you go, boo.

Man Ban Lesson #3: The Bad Pick Up Line

It shouldn't take lessons by the original Pick Up Artist stud, Mystery, to know a good pick up line from a bad one. In fact, I would like to believe that it's fairly basic.

This weekend, I experienced the worst pick up line of my life. A guy, comparable in looks to Kosmo, winner of season 1 of VH1's The Pick Up Artist (pictured above looking suave) approached me at Winston's, a bar that I happen to frequent. (New Yorker's: picture something along the lines of Royal Oak.) I was just hanging out with the girls, having a good time, when out of nowhere, Mr. D-Bag says to me, "So seeing as we're at Wintson's at all.... wanna f*ck?"

I'm sorry? Since when has this become an acceptable pick up line? I was offended and caught completely off guard. Has he mistaken Winston's for a whorehouse?

After giving this some thought, I decided it was imperative that I write a Man Ban on bad pick up lines. Guys, a pick up line like that will never work for you, unless you're okay with ending up with a few STD's at the end of a night. When in doubt, you can resort to some of the basic pillars of small talk: "Hello," "Do you come here often," or even "I can't feel my face." Pretty much anything would be superior.

Again, we must look to the PUA for some pointers here. (I'm telling you guys, he knows whats up.) Your best bet is to go for open ended questions or a question that sparks their interest. However, please avoid the example that was a little TOO popularized by Mystery: "Did you see the girls fighting outside?" It has become trite, and we girls see right through that one. (Others to avoid: "What movie is this from - 'No one puts baby in the corner?'" or "We just finished a caper") And please - avoid alluding to anything remotely sexual or we will see your underlying motives.

And if you really need some ideas, let me point you in this direction.

If any of you would like to share any bad pick up lines you have been subjected to, please do so!

Office Gossips

For those of you who don't know, I work with a bunch of crazies. I sometimes wonder what the chances are that so many "unique" individuals have been concentrated here in this workspace. And then sometimes I wonder that perhaps this is what the general population is like. And in that case, the human species has truly disappointed me.

I digress.

So one of the ladies I work with showed up today wearing a face mask. Please see photo below.


I apologize for the poor photo quality, but I was trying to be discrete in my photo taking. When asked why she was sporting this new look, she informed me that the other day while she was talking to the coworker pictured in the upper left hand corner of the picture, he spit in her mouth.

So now she wears a face mask to work.

Just thought I'd share.

Britney Madness!

I love Britney. I have had a special place in my heart for her ever since she attacked a car with an umbrella, and I even look past the fact that she is white trash. She just offers endless entertainment. A coworker of mine has just drawn my attention to a clip from a recent Britney concert... for those of you going to her concert in the near future (Brett!!) please be sure to keep your ears open for any slip-ups.

In other Britney news, Britney was apparently offended by concert goers who were smoking marijuana at her show in Vancouver. She stormed off stage, claiming that all the smoke in the air had made it "unsafe" for her to perform. She eventually resumed her performance but closed the show by saying "Thanks Vancouver, you were wonderful. Drive safe. Don’t smoke weed," according to the Sun. Way to be a role model, Brit!

Placenta For Dinner?

Well this is gross, but I couldn't help myself.

The LA Times posted a link to an article on Mom Logic today about women who eat their placentas after giving birth. (Please hold while I finish gagging.)

Ahem.

I did a little research on this seemingly bizarre practice and learned that it is a common practice among some cultures. Supposedly, this ripe piece of flesh is not only a great source of nutrients, but it also supposed to help prevent postpartum depression.

If you really want to gross yourself out, be sure to check out the Placenta Gallery on Mom Logic. Eek!

Adventures With Matt

This Saturday Matt and I hung out and we found a giant popsicle on the floor, so Matt decided to pet it.

Mmmm... popsicles!

Best Taco in LA

So LA Taco named Yuca's the best taco in Los Angeles, beating even the famous Kogi Taco. Now I am obviously dying to try this Los Feliz staple. Anyone else feel like taking a mini taco adventure trip?

Lizzie...

Man Ban Lesson #2: "Fancy" Jeans

Welcome to the second installment of my Man Ban series. Allow me to introduce another common offense: The "Fancy" Jean. See above.

In the past few years I've seen more and more offenders of the "fancy" jean parading around town. How did this happen? Who is responsible for this atrocious fashion crime? (Antik Denim... consider this an e-wagging of my finger at you!)

Now, I know some of you will look to the astute and worldly Mystery, king of "peacocking," to defend this horrendous use of denim. Yes, Mystery believes that the more bling and pizazz one adds to his outfit, the more attention he will receive from the ladies. As always, Mystery is right. HOWEVER, I have found it very common for some poor, misguided fellows to misinterpret the teachings of Mystery. Bling should NOT be on your ass. Or your thigh. Or trailing down your denim pant leg. (As anyone who watched the Pickup Artist should know, the best kind of peacocking accessory is one that the target can interact with - a segway into Kino Escalation - such as a hat, a feather boa, or sunglasses.)

Rather, these jeans come across looking tacky and fobby. Just because they are Versace or cost a few Benjamins doesn't make you fashionable. It makes you look like a tool.


And yes, even an ornately embellished back pocket is a no-no.


Guys, just remember - when in doubt, stick with something simple as far as jeans go. Leave the peacockign to deserving accessories instead.

Remember These Guys?

Asa Ransom.

They visited LA on their way to SXSW so I stopped by to see their show at Spaceland in Silverlake and they sounded great! Please note their spray-painted-on-a-sheet banner hanging in the background and Jacob's new signature hat. Classic and oh so BK.

Sunday Burger Night!

So I have just learned that the famous Grace Restaurant, conveniently located only a few blocks from my apartment on Beverly Blvd, has a burger night on Sundays. According to the folks over at Chowhound, it's supposed to be pretty damn good and cost around $17-18 per burger.

Who wants to go with me??

We Got The Moves

And by "we," of course I mean we Persians. Check out these moves from the famous Pers choreographer Mohammad Khordadian. I'm warning you, it's pretty entertaining.

Cupcakes, Anyone?

So I decided to bake some coconut cupcakes off a recipe I got from Ina Garten I found online. I was inspired from the Cupcake Challenge my sister and I went to a couple weeks ago.



So, we sifted the flour to make the batter...


Whipped up some homemade cream cheese frosting...



And viola! Cupcake heaven. Ina really knows what she's doing!

So if you happen to work with me or live near me, please come help me consume these. I ended up with 70 of these little guys.

Violence Is Never The Solution

But sometimes I guess it's a pretty clear way to show how you really feel.

Yahoo news reported today that a man in Waco, TX was stabbed in a motel room by his companion.

Why, you ask?

The poor man was suffering from flatulence. Mr. Gassy was taking care of business on the toilet, when his "friend" threw a large knife at him, hitting him in the knee. As if that weren't enough punishment, he then stabbed him again in the chest. Eek!