This Just Seems Cruel

I understand this is meant to be "art," but it seems more like they are just rubbing it in the poor piglet's face. "Hey Piggy, I believe your only purpose on this earth is to be eaten. I will make a mockery of this and reconstruct you using your cured body parts.  Yes, this is what you lost your life for."

Pig, from Sophie H Powell

I mean, are they at least planning on eating it afterwards? Because then it wouldn't be SO bad.

New Ketchup, WHERE ARE YOU?

It has been over a year now since I heard rumors about a new and magical ketchup packet - one that facilitates both dipping and squeezing (that's what she said?).  At the time, I couldn't have been more excited.  All of my wildest dreams were coming true - the way I fast food dined was about to be revolutionized!

So I waited. I perused local fast food joints.  In-n-Out? Nope. Still the ketchup pump + tiny paper cup disaster over the trash cans.  McDonalds? Nope. Still stingy with their sloppy "fancy" 1/2 oz ketchup packets.  And since we are on the topic, where do they get off calling these things fancy?

not fancy.

They are the lowest form of ketchup.  Nobody likes little ketchup packets - they are for ketchup beggars, people at McDonalds trying to douse their fries with another form of sodium, while the cashiers withhold it from us and get a God complex out of the whole ordeal.  You want fancy ketchup?

THIS. is the fanciest ketchup.

yes fancy.

Just so we're on the same page here.  Tiny, glass bottled, single serving ketchup.  FANCY.

Anyway.  I continued to search.  My active search became more passive as months passed, and after a little while, I had almost forgot about this new ketchup completely.

But sometimes every now and then, something will remind me - a french fry, a difficult to open "fancy," a large chicken nugget, and I suddenly feel alone and misled.

Please. If anyone finds the new ketchup, please fill me in on the whereabouts (so I can stock up).

National Donut Day Itinerary

In celebration of NDD, I have requested my last day of work off. In lieu of Data Entry, Matt and I will be partaking in Donut Entry (entry into my belly, that is) by touring some of the finest donut establishments in Los Angeles. So much for losing weight prior to Hawaii! More important things have come up.

On our list of places to go in order of importance (highest to lowest): Randy's Donuts, Fritelli Doughnuts and Coffee, Stan's Donuts, and Krispy Kreme. I hope four locations is enough to satisfy our donut cravings.


View DONUT DAY in a larger map

NATIONAL DONUT DAY

I am not making this up, folks. There is a day where the entire nation is intended to celebrate this doughy ring of goodness. And it actually has a legitimate history too, originating as a way to raise money for the Salvation Army in1938. It is this Friday, June 5th, and many donut shops are expected to be giving out free donuts in exchange for a donation to the Salvation Army. Holler.

The BEST of 3 Worlds

Maybe I will enter this in the Pie Bake contest in Beverly Hills next week. Erin, thank you for introducing me to such a glorious concoction. I will be baking asap! If I like any of you reading this enough, maybe I'll let you help me eat it.

Piesta!

Yes, you heard right. There is a Piesta going down in our very own Beverly Hills. And yes, it is everything you imagined and more, or so I'm assuming. It is Sunday June 14 (umm... 3 months late? YES.) at the Beverly Hills Farmers Market. Festivities will include a pie eating contest, a pieathalon, pie making, and juggling. (wtf?) And of course, you can buy a slice for $3 or 2 for $5. LETS DO IT.

Lizzie, I think this is a valid reason for you to miss your job related activities, no?

Viceroy Summer Happy Hour?

YES PLEASE.

Where: Cameo Bar
What: Drinks based on the hour of the day (ie $2 glass of wine in the 2 o'clock hour)
When: Fridays this Summer from 2-6pm
Who: Me. There. Every Friday. Please don't leave me there all by my lonesome.

And Another One Bites the Dust...

Beverly Blvd is going through some culinary changes these days, what with Mimosa closing to be replaced by Bistro LQ, Hatfield's moving to the current location of Red Pearl Kitchen, and now Pastis, Whit's favorite restaurant to mispronounce, is set to close within the first 2 weeks of June, according to the LA Times. It will be replaced by a new cafe called House.

We better hit these places up before they go!

Is That You, Cheesus?

Maybe it's because I'm not a religious person. Maybe it's because I eat so quickly I rarely take notice of what I'm putting in my mouth. Or maybe it's because I don't live in Texas anymore. (Wise move, Mom and Dad!) But I just can't understand the people who see Jesus in a bag of Cheetos like this couple from Dallas. Upon the "discovery", they decided to name the lucky Cheeto Cheesus. I don't know, you Crazy Texans. It looks more like the Hunchback of Notre Dame to me. And even if it were the real Cheesus, what do you think he's trying to say by appearing in a 99-cent bag of Cheetos? Maybe the Cheetos need salvation.

Naturally, like any Crazy Texan, the couple is planning on selling little Cheesus on eBay. What an interesting way to show your respect for JC -- trying to make a buck off of him.

The best part is that the husband was actually quoted to say: "Let's put this on eBay. How much do you think we should ask for it? It could be 25 cents, could be 25 dollars. If it's only 25 cents, we're just going to eat it."

Stop Right There, Thief!

I have been victimized twice now in a 4 month period. I, Roxy, am a refrigerator thief victim. I don't know who you are, and I am a little confused about your motives, but Mr. Food Thief you need to stop. My job is bad enough as it is: all day I stare at a piece of paper and copy numbers from that paper onto a computer program. The only thing that keeps me going through the day is the anticipation of leaving the office and indulging myself with food. While sitting at my beige desk staring at the dimly flickering computer screen, my mind always wanders to my little plastic bag of food I've stored in the company fridge, just waiting for me to claim and consume it.

The first time it happened I was shocked. I strolled to the kitchen to pick up my lunch before heading out, and I was instantly struck with confusion. This fridge seems to be empty! And my Yoplait and sliced apple were nowhere to be seen! I was sure there was a mistake. I checked every plastic bag in sight, peeking in to see if somehow my food was misplaced. It was not. Worse yet, my fancy tupperware had been in that plastic bag. Gone.

Food thief, I grumbled to myself. You have got some nerve. In the back of my mind though, I could understand. He was probably hungry and saw a delicious bag of food and stellar tupperware. Okay.

But then it happened again last Friday. And it was worse this time.

I decided to go for Thai food with some coworkers in celebration of "It's Friday and I'm Hungover." I ordered the lunch special of Pad See Ew and carefully ate only half of my dish so I could have the rest for dinner that night. Careful planning, indeed. Upon returning to work, I throw my to go box in the fridge and plow through the rest of the day. But when I go to fetch my Kari Out box on my way out the door, it has vanished. And I was pissed.

Who was this person stealing other people's food? Is this a regular thang for him? Does he just go shopping in the public refrigerator whenever he gets a little hungry?

And most importantly, do you have NO standards, Mr. Food Thief?? This food has been tainted with my germs. I practically slobbered all over it while inhaling my lunchtime portion. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I sincerely hope you catch my swine flu. That'll show you.

Kiwami!!

Last night we ventured to Kiwami for some serious sushi eats. We sat at the bar and got the special treatment by Whit's family friend Adam.

Halibut

Jalapeno Yellowtail (SO good)

Delicious beer to.. er.. cleanse my palate. Yeah.

Cod. So incredibly delicious and buttery. Not to mention pretty!

Tuna 3 ways - sashimi with grilled onions, spicy tuna on crunchy rice, and a tuna wonton.

Melt in your mouth Uni.

JKim failed at eating it though.


Then she failed at pouring beer.


Then she mourned her failure. We still love you, boo.

My future husband. Oops! Did I just say that???

And finally.. spicy tuna roll with baked crab. Delicious!


It was Whitney's birthday that night too! What a surprise. Another surprise was that Whit gets the Asian glow when she drinks. High five, boo.



The End!

The Cheese of My Dreams

Apparently Spain made the biggest piece of cheese in the world and invited its lucky citizens to help eat it, having divided it into 5,000 portions. In Roxy world, that would be about 250 servings. According to Typically Spanish, the giant cheese (of unspecified variety) was made out of 8,000 liters of milk and was 2 meters in diameter. I'm really wishing I remembered the metric system right about now so I can have a more complete visual of this glorious cheese in my brain. Although, my brain is probably too small to house a visual that large. I digress. Basically it's a lot of cheese and I'm jealous.

Something to stock up on for the Apocalypse

I've heard of canned chicken and it sounded gross. Then I heard about canned whole chicken, and I tried to not create a visual of that in my mind.

But today, my efforts proved to be in vain. All that hard work trying to not visualize something went out the window when I foolishly clicked on conspicuously vague link, much like this one.

I guess in the event of the Apocalypse, however, I could be persuaded into eating one. Can't be worse than... well I can't think of anything worse, actually.

Free Food! Again!

If I can say anything positive about the economy right now, it would have to be that there is a plethora of free food offers coming from... everywhere! Yes, folks, even Oprah is hooking it up - she is giving out coupons for KFC for two pieces of their new grilled chicken, two individual sides, and a biscuit, all for free. Print out your coupon by midnight today and you have until the 15th to use it (With the exception of Mother's Day. WTF, KFC don't flatter yourself. I'm not taking Mom to KFC for her big day.)

Homemade Mac and Cheese!!

I've been looking for a good recipe for mac and cheese for a while. I had been warned against recipes that is just pasta withy a cheese sauce or pasta with melted cheese on it. Instead, I wanted my macaroni encased in ooey gooey goodness, creamy cheese melting from every crevice. Is that so much to ask?

So after considerable research (okay, it was actually pretty easy) I found John Thorne's recipe, which turns out to be a classic. Although it was a bit labor intensive (requiring you to stick your face in the hot oven every 5 minutes to stir the brewing concoction) it was well worth it in the end.

Highly recommended!

Jitlada... Lada Deliciousness!

Last week Brett, Matt and I finally ventured to Jitlada. I've been dying to go, spending my days at "work" reading Chowhound reviews and contemplating the suggestions of fellow foodies. When we got there, we each ordered our monster sized beers while we schemed how we could ditch our unknowledgeable waitress and get Jazz instead.


Finally we grew a pair and asked for Jazz, and she was awesome! We told her to take full control and bring us what she saw fit. This included a deliciously sweet and spicy coconut mango salad (not pictured because we devoured it in about 12 seconds flat), steamed mussles in a broth made of pure awesomeness...


Tiger Prawns in red curry..
And a yummy spicy fried rice curry dish. We nearly had to be rolled out of the restaurant, but it was well worth it. Not too hard on our wallets either!


And the BEST part of the whole menu was when Jazz came to our table at the end of the meal and declared that we are now part of the family. Then the three of us gushed over how fabulous Jazz was for the 45 minutes while we waited for our bill. Sigh.

I think it's about time for a second visit!

Bargain Ice Cream!

Tonight and tonight only, Baskin Robbins is having 31 cent scoop night between 5 and 10pm.

Matt and Brett, we're going tonight post-Jitlada.

Spring Stroll This Weekend

This weekend is the Spring Stroll on West 3rd Street between La Cienaga and Fairfax. Many of the merchants on 3rd St will be offering specials, sales, and free goodies on Saturday and Sunday. Best of all, My Open Bar promises at least a few free drinks along the way and (hopefully) some yummy samples from Kiss My Bundt. Let's go!

Mmmm.. Business Cards

Why order regular business cards when you can order Meat Cards?

I think I'll order a stack with my name, phone number, and "Eat Me" seared into the cards to hand out to any fellas I might meet in the future.

RIP Buck Fiddy's

The economy hits hard.

I learned today from Los Anjealous that Roll Inn Sandwiches, or more affectionately called Buck Fiddy's by broke students Westwood-wide, is no longer with us. The only sign of its passing was the "For Lease" sign hanging in the window last week.

Buck Fiddy's, your cheap and greasy midnight delights will be missed by the drunken crowds who are too impatient to wait in line at the In-N-Out down the street, and Westwood will never be the same without the numerous brawls you hosted in front of your lush "dining" area. RIP.