The Curious Case of the Bare Assed Man

Lizzie and I are sitting in the Verizon store right now faced with this delightful view while waiting to be called in for Lizzie's phone repair. We suspect we must be on Candid Camera. In what other situation does one allow his ass to hang out in the open for 20 minutes on end? Doesn't he feel a slight draft down there? No one else here even seem to notice. In the words of a wise man, "What's going on!?"

New Trend Alert!

I'm flattered that you turn to me for the latest fashion advice and the hottest new trends.  Well, my friend, brace yourself for Bagelheads, as blogged about on The Frisky.  It's true!  You, too, could get a saline drip directed to your noggin that creates a large, moldable, dyeable swelling on your forehead.  Men, this is how you get the ladies.  Especially ladies like me that love bagels and other doughy, carbohydratey, cream cheese slathered treats.  Sadly, like real bagels, they only last for one day, but they are perfect for special events like debutante balls, weddings, and bachelor parties.  Enjoy!

I Need Your Help.

Please tell me any acceptable time/location that anyone could be seen in these. I've got nothing. A stripping rodeo?? Pocahontos does thigh highs? Please help.

Now You've Gone Too Far

Someone PLEASE tell me the context in which it would be appropriate to wear these:

Oh that's right, it is a BIKINI JEAN. Please note the bedazzling.