Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Man Ban Lesson #1: The Soul Patch



I would like to take this opportunity to introduce a new series that I affectionately call the Man Ban Series. In each lesson, I will introduce a faux pas common to the male species and suggest any possible remedies or improvements that can be made.

Men, I am here to help. I am on your side.

On to Lesson #1: The Soul Patch.


Soul Patch. Defined by Urban Dictionary as: "shit on the chin; pubes on the face" (please see definition #4)

Now fellas, I understand the instinctive, manly need to sprout hairs on your face wherever your manly little face allows. I know it makes you feel "macho."

However, I also know that soul patches are neither attractive, nor are they manly. Commonly referred to as "flavor savers," women find them disgusting and outdated, and quite frankly, most women won't even date a man sporting this pathetic excuse for stubble.

What are my alternatives, you ask?

Anything. Please, anything else is preferable.

The most obvious solution is to just shave the thing off. No one will miss it, except maybe you if you were somehow so mistaken as to think it added depth and dimension to your face. Trust me, it doesn't. Shave it, wax it, Nair it, whatever is at your most immediate convenience. Your mother will breathe a sigh of relief, and women will flock to you (at least more so than in the past, that is).

If you MUST sport facial hair but are unfortunate enough to not be able to grow any (Persians need not be concerned with this portion), may I suggest one one of these?

1 comment:

  1. Did you know a certain someone still thinks about growing his back?

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