Bad Kitty-Karma

I think I've recently come into some bad Kitty-Karma.  Yesterday, I was being silly and complained to my subletter about Minnie.  I know what you're thinking - how could you ever have any sort of negative thoughts about such an angel? I don't... But it's just this new habit she's developed.

I keep a bowl of water for her in my bedroom.  She refuses to drink the water by her food bowl, so now there's a bowl in my bedroom.  When I first introduced the bedroom bowl of water to her, she drank from it like a cat normally would.  You know, she'd walk up to it, sit down for a drink, and then leave.

Apparently that got too boring for her.  One day she decided to tip her bowl over.  I was sitting a few feet away when she did it, and when I went to investigate the sound I had heard, I discovered her sitting in the puddle, looking confused and confounded at me. She then pathetically tried to drink out of her empty water bowl, checking back to make sure I was taking note of this pitiful display.  So like the good mommy I am, I cleaned up the mess and give her more water.

I didn't think much of this, until it happened again. And then again.  And then several more times after that.   Why, Minnie?  Why must you knock over your lovely bowl of water every day? And what is your obsession with water bowls?  Last year, she would "booby trap" my closed bedroom door while I was sleeping - she would drag her water bowl directly in front of where the door opens, so I would almost step in it every morning.  Why you do these things, cat?

So I dared to complain about all the spills to my subletting roommate, and while I was doing so I could feel Minnie's eyes projecting lasers in the back of my head.  Ever since then, I have had bad Kitty Karma.  I have been spilling water non stop - knocking glasses over left and right.  Most recently, I knocked over a large and stout, completely full jar of water on my nightstand.  It went everywhere, bathing my iPhone, 1/3 of my bedroom floor, into my drawers and over my books.   And you know what?  Minnie was sitting there looking smug and watching me frantically trying to shake the water out of my phone and soak up the spillage.

This is what happens when Minnie gets mad.  Don't make Minnie mad.

Perhaps this is just the price I have to pay to stop her bad habit, but I'm afraid to see the next scheme she concocts.

Things I Like.

Do you know me?

If you answered "yes," "sorta," or "I'm not sure" to this question, then you are aware that I enjoy stickers.  Stickers make everything better.  Boring computer screen? STICKER.  Bland looking framed picture of a pillow? Googly eye stickers to the rescue.  Can't tell which lighter is yours?  Pig sticker (which doubles as both and identifier and adorable! What a bargain.)  If Minnie didn't shed so much, she'd probably have some googly eye stickers on the tip of her lil tail. I mean, how cute would that be?! I strongly encourage you, get on that sticker bandwagon.

Meet Pill-ojo*. 

I always liked stickers.  I suppose most kids did, and perhaps some day they eventually grow out of it.  But me? No.  I covered my dressers in stickers as far up as my arm could reach when I was a kid, and these days I'm pretty much doing the same thing.

A couple of years ago, I discovered Sticker Planet at the Farmers Market on 3rd and Fairfax in Los Angeles.  Let me just say.. I hope heaven is on Sticker Planet.  I mean, I could only it imagine it would be.  Just think of the possibilities!  Anyway, Sticker Planet really sealed the deal with my sticker obsession, and now every time I visit LA, I always make a stop in this outrageously delightful store.  (Remember when I took you there, Kyle? Number 1 Los Angeles destination, indeed.)

Great story, right?  Well, this is where the story line takes a turn.  I live in Boston now.  Sticker stores, where art thou!? This forces me to do my sticker perusing online, and let me tell you, the internet is a scary place sometimes.  You never know what you're going to find.  I googled "funny stickers," hoping to come across some bears wearing pajamas in sticker form, or googly eye glasses (Are you taking notes, sticker stores? These ideas are golden.)  But alas, this is not what I found.

But this brings me to my point... the whole point of this post, I guess.  I found this sticker online today and it tickled my fancy.

Hehe.. they said diarrhea.

Woah! Buy 6 and save 10%!? Deal alert, you guys!

Also, since we are on the topic of poo now, this:

Incredible.

*In my favorite movie (omg, you get to learn so much about me today!), the main character spots a framed picture of corn. Why not put pictures of things you love in picture frames?

Tiny Terrors

I hate to admit it, but I've been living with a situation.  Lots of gross, little situations... cockroaches.  We first noticed them about a year ago.  My first sighting was the eerie shadow of one trapped in the light fixture above the couch in the living room.  I noticed the outline of its long antennae and nasty body one day, and tried to convince myself that it had been there forever, I just hadn't noticed it before.  Then one appeared in my bedroom late one night while I was home alone, forcing me to douse it in Lysol until it died while trying to keep Minnie at bay.

It was disgusting.  I really can't think of anything that grosses me out more than cockroaches.  Every time I would see one, it would send me into a panic.  I mean, I had this to fear. (Spoiler alert: cockroach enters woman's intestines through the back door.)  It's bad enough worrying about a cockroach walking around on your face while you sleep, so how is anyone expected to sleep ever again if those little buggers can squeeze into places you never thought possible?

Anyway, eventually the cockroaches ceased (I am knocking on wood as I type this).  Maybe they were finally scared off after Kyle (unintentionally?) smashed a cockroach with a shoe and somehow, magically, all the proper forces were in order and the stars aligned and the cockroach's juicy guts went soaring through the air, only to land in the mouth of a poor spectator. (Sorry Nick.) So maybe the other cockroaches saw that and it grossed them out too and they ran away.  Whatever the reason, I haven't seen any sign of a cockroach for quite some time now...

Until....

this:

That's a cockroach leg.  Found in between my fingers.  The nasty little hairs on it were clinging to my finger.  I think they're taunting me.  I think it's a sign that they are coming back for revenge, and I am terrified.