A Craigslist Adventure

Those of you who know me may or may not be aware that I have a certain fascination with Craigslist. My fascination began years ago in college when one of my roommates introduced me to the glory and embarrassment that is the Personals section (most notable, m4w). Since then, whenever I feel bored or down, I just take a gander at the m4w and have a good laugh, etc.

So last night in a bout of boredom, I wrote myself a "w4m" ad in my journal, just for kicks. After taking a mental journey 12 hours into my future, I decided to post it on CL to see who would respond to such a ludicrous ad requiring so much of the reader, and telling so very little about the poster. I also thought it went along nicely with the distant yet underlying theme of this blog, my extremely passive search for a temporary boyfriend for the summer.

So below, is the ad. And below that are samplings of some of the 30+ responses I've received in the last 9 hours.

Wanted: Temporary Boyfriend - 24 (west hollywood)

Duties: Looking hot, being awesome, acting suave, dining finely, buying drinks, making love (in da club?) lifting heavy objects, partaking in various other activities involving me.

Requirements: Must be between the ages of 24 and 28, must make some dollars of your own, must have car, must have teeth. Sense of humor is mandatory. College degree preferred.

Hours: 10am - 3am, 5 hour shifts, 2-3 times per week, not including overtime. Some weekends required. Position for only now through August 23rd, after which your services will no longer be requested, as I am moving across the country.

No references required. Head shots suggested.

Compensation: Being blessed with awesomeness for 5 hours a day, 2-3 days per week, for a month, learning sweet new moves and snazzy jokes, having me as arm candy, free dental consultation.

Serious inquiries only, please.

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Some of my favorite responses are as follows:

• This is why unemployment is so high!!!!
• Inquiring about you job post.
  I qualified in many ways. I have a vehicle, all my teeth, attractive, college educated, 5'11, 160lbs, white, formal personal trainer, fun, flexible hrs.! I hope I get the job in this economy, will work over time if nec.! Do you offer 401K?
• Your compensation SUCKS! You sound unoriginal and boring. YAWN!
• You got to be kidding me??? I have the feeling you really want a full time BF and yet your posting a PT positing in hopes to land a hot guy. YOUR sneaky! Just a side note, US HOT guys dates hot girls. We don't make any exception. We all have dental plans and still have access to the clubs.
  If you have something else to offer, please share it with me? Pictures, monterary compensation...i.e you women like to say for 120 roses you get to have me...:)
  thx
  
  
  Sigh.. So I supposed my hunt for Mr. Right Now continues, although I did receive this appealing picture from one gentleman... he's the one on the right ;) Cute huh??

The Alice in Wonderland Trailer

Ta-da!

The Curious Case of the Bare Assed Man

Lizzie and I are sitting in the Verizon store right now faced with this delightful view while waiting to be called in for Lizzie's phone repair. We suspect we must be on Candid Camera. In what other situation does one allow his ass to hang out in the open for 20 minutes on end? Doesn't he feel a slight draft down there? No one else here even seem to notice. In the words of a wise man, "What's going on!?"

Pay Me in Spiders.

Greetings from New York!

Inspired by my new blogitude, I wanted to share one of the enjoyable things I have recently been introduced to. It chronicles the attempts of a man to submit a drawing of a spider as a payment on one of his accounts.

Enjoy!



Thanks Lizzie!

Don't Let This Happen to YOU!

First things first. You miss me. I know. Everywhere I go, everytime I step out of the house, people stop me and ask me what happened to my blog. Well, friends, it's a funny thing. I quit my job, and suddenly I find myself with... a life, you might say. I no longer find myself spending hours perusing the internet, staring at pictures of food for hours on end, and feeling the need to pass on useless yet mildly amusing information to my thousands of followers. (Hi Mom!)

So after giving it some thought, I've decided to take this blog in a new direction. Since my hours are now being spent differently, my blogs posts will obviously need to reflect this. As you may very well be aware, while Roxy may no longer be in ennui, I'm sure the rest of the world still is.

I would like to kick off my new blogitude (Urban Dictionary that!) with what some might call an incriminating photo. The subjects of the photo shall remain unidentified, although lets just say it's my NJR with a JB. Wink.

I am posting this photo as a warning to everyone out there. Sometimes, some people make poor choices. Some people even decide to make spreadsheets documenting every poor and good choice of the year, but that is a different story. Anyway, these poor choices are sometimes public, and sometimes your friends and Jeff and Nifty will never forget the pure hilarity you have bestowed upon them at your own expense.

Enjoy.