A Solution to the Financial Crisis

I got this in an email from my dad.

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,

There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force...pay them $1 million apiece severance with the following stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

Can't get any easier than that!

Whitney Wants

More pictures like this on my blog. So here you go, boo.

Man Ban Lesson #3: The Bad Pick Up Line

It shouldn't take lessons by the original Pick Up Artist stud, Mystery, to know a good pick up line from a bad one. In fact, I would like to believe that it's fairly basic.

This weekend, I experienced the worst pick up line of my life. A guy, comparable in looks to Kosmo, winner of season 1 of VH1's The Pick Up Artist (pictured above looking suave) approached me at Winston's, a bar that I happen to frequent. (New Yorker's: picture something along the lines of Royal Oak.) I was just hanging out with the girls, having a good time, when out of nowhere, Mr. D-Bag says to me, "So seeing as we're at Wintson's at all.... wanna f*ck?"

I'm sorry? Since when has this become an acceptable pick up line? I was offended and caught completely off guard. Has he mistaken Winston's for a whorehouse?

After giving this some thought, I decided it was imperative that I write a Man Ban on bad pick up lines. Guys, a pick up line like that will never work for you, unless you're okay with ending up with a few STD's at the end of a night. When in doubt, you can resort to some of the basic pillars of small talk: "Hello," "Do you come here often," or even "I can't feel my face." Pretty much anything would be superior.

Again, we must look to the PUA for some pointers here. (I'm telling you guys, he knows whats up.) Your best bet is to go for open ended questions or a question that sparks their interest. However, please avoid the example that was a little TOO popularized by Mystery: "Did you see the girls fighting outside?" It has become trite, and we girls see right through that one. (Others to avoid: "What movie is this from - 'No one puts baby in the corner?'" or "We just finished a caper") And please - avoid alluding to anything remotely sexual or we will see your underlying motives.

And if you really need some ideas, let me point you in this direction.

If any of you would like to share any bad pick up lines you have been subjected to, please do so!

Office Gossips

For those of you who don't know, I work with a bunch of crazies. I sometimes wonder what the chances are that so many "unique" individuals have been concentrated here in this workspace. And then sometimes I wonder that perhaps this is what the general population is like. And in that case, the human species has truly disappointed me.

I digress.

So one of the ladies I work with showed up today wearing a face mask. Please see photo below.


I apologize for the poor photo quality, but I was trying to be discrete in my photo taking. When asked why she was sporting this new look, she informed me that the other day while she was talking to the coworker pictured in the upper left hand corner of the picture, he spit in her mouth.

So now she wears a face mask to work.

Just thought I'd share.

Britney Madness!

I love Britney. I have had a special place in my heart for her ever since she attacked a car with an umbrella, and I even look past the fact that she is white trash. She just offers endless entertainment. A coworker of mine has just drawn my attention to a clip from a recent Britney concert... for those of you going to her concert in the near future (Brett!!) please be sure to keep your ears open for any slip-ups.

In other Britney news, Britney was apparently offended by concert goers who were smoking marijuana at her show in Vancouver. She stormed off stage, claiming that all the smoke in the air had made it "unsafe" for her to perform. She eventually resumed her performance but closed the show by saying "Thanks Vancouver, you were wonderful. Drive safe. Don’t smoke weed," according to the Sun. Way to be a role model, Brit!

Placenta For Dinner?

Well this is gross, but I couldn't help myself.

The LA Times posted a link to an article on Mom Logic today about women who eat their placentas after giving birth. (Please hold while I finish gagging.)

Ahem.

I did a little research on this seemingly bizarre practice and learned that it is a common practice among some cultures. Supposedly, this ripe piece of flesh is not only a great source of nutrients, but it also supposed to help prevent postpartum depression.

If you really want to gross yourself out, be sure to check out the Placenta Gallery on Mom Logic. Eek!

Adventures With Matt

This Saturday Matt and I hung out and we found a giant popsicle on the floor, so Matt decided to pet it.

Mmmm... popsicles!