coffee.

I drink coffee every single day.  It is an integral part of my morning, and people who are close to me know it is not a pretty sight when I spend more than an hour in wakefulness without having my coffee.

About a month ago, my coffeemaker broke.  It had started showing signs of weakness earlier than that, but being the optimist that I am, I believed the old chap could pull though and regain full functionality.  It did not.  It died.  I almost died with it, too.  However, riding a wave of guilt from recent boredom induced online shopping binges, I decided this was not an item that needed replacement.  I convinced myself a life without a coffeemaker was still a good life to live.  I believed there were ways to have my coffee, sans the maker.  

What it really came down to was a shoddy technique of boiling water on the stove in a pot, then slowly pouring it over the coffee in the filter of the broken coffeemaker.  It was just bad.  The coffee was weaker (which in itself is an atrocity), and it wouldn’t stay hot because the heating plate no longer worked, AND it was a time consuming pain in the ass.

So after stubbornly sticking to this method for a month, I decided to go to Bed Bath and Beyond, armed with my 20% off coupon, and buy a damn coffeemaker.  Once there, I was instantly drawn to a lovely Krups machine.  It had bells, it had whistles, and it had an “on” button that actually worked.  It also had a higher price tag than I was hoping for, but what the hell – that just meant my 20% off saved me more dollars than had I purchased a cheaper product.

When I got home, I eagerly unwrapped my new lifesaver and proceeded to set it up.  The first thing I must do, I tell myself, is wash that carafe! 

In my mind, I am being a responsible adult, washing before first use. (Go, me!)  In reality, I am being a fool because the first thing I do is forcibly break off the fucking lid off the carafe.  Plastic bits go flying.  My eyeballs pop out of my face.  I am sad.  I curse my old coffee maker for having a detachable, washable lid, and myself for assuming all coffeemakers are made the same.  But then, behold! Some of the tiny parts are captured in the carafe itself!  My mind excitedly takes me to a happy place where I superglue the pieces back together into one functional, amazing lid.  So I turn the carafe upside down to empty these tiny plastic pieces into my hand, and down they tumble, ricocheting away, out of the carafe, bouncing out onto my hopeful hand, and continuing on their way, down the drain of the sink.

So I stood there for a few minutes, my mouth hanging open, eyeballs on the counter, in disbelief of my own stupidity.  Finally, I pulled myself together and repositioned the broken lid onto the carafe.  It sits on there just swell, although it’s not secure anymore, so what can you do.   At least I can still make my darn coffee in the morning.