Thursday, August 27, 2009

Greetings From Your New Favorite Bostonian

I'm guessing everyone who used to read my blog has long since given up on it, much as I have since my days of ennui at work have diminished. Nevertheless, I thought I would take a moment to update the world wide web on my latest adventures.

Boston is swell. It has been hot and muggy, and the homeless people here have more of an "in your face" attitude than any other homeless population I have ever encountered. I find that it keeps me on my toes as I explore all the new nooks and crannies of this city.

Matthew and I have been staying in a hotel since Sunday, seeing as we can't move into our lovely new apartment until September 1. Some aspects of this have been wonderful. Well, mostly just the availability of housekeeping is wonderful, although they often forget to give us new towels and try to come in every morning when I'm still sleeping because I forgot to put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob the night before. Some aspects of life in a hotel room have been not wonderful - in particular, the lack of an expansive selection of television channels and my loss of the DVR recording of the Project Runway All-Star Challenge. (Which I never got to see and fear I never will. Tears, streaming down my face.)

The whole prospect of moving has been a little stressful: the move in day for our new apartment coincides exactly with my first day of class, I was silly and left Minnie in a kennel about as close to our new apartment as Egypt and don't know how I will ever retrieve her again, and we have no furniture for our new apartment. Thankfully, I phoned for help and now Mom is flying to Boston to come to the rescue. Hooray!

Today I realized I was in need of some cheering up when I was on the verge of tears after watching Shrek the Third, so I decided retail therapy would be the wisest choice. I also figured this would be the best way to kill two birds with one stone, considering I'm aiming to be the most stylin' girl in my class (which should be easy, considering 98% of the people I've seen around Boston don't seem able to differentiate between the adjectives stylin' and dowdy), so I ventured down Newbury Street and visited all of my favorite stores. Thank goodness for Madewell.

On the walk home this evening, I recalled how there were some pre-orientation social events for my new class this week, and the event tonight was at a restaurant close to the hotel. Although I have absolutely no desire to attend any of these events, I decided to channel my stalker side and scope out the kids that showed up. I walked up to the window of the restaurant and peered in, and there in front of me stood about 15 students from my new class. Before I could get a good look, one of them spotted me watching them like a creeper, so I ran off. I hope they didn't recognize me from Facebook.

So there you have it: life in Boston. Riveting, I know. I miss LA and everyone from home already, but I think life here should be just dandy. At least until winer hits, that is.

I'll tell Minnie you all say hi.


My new street! My apartment is on the right side behind the jeepy thing.

The park across the street that our bedroom windows look out on. Cute, huh? Come visit. Biotch.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Hurt Currency


There's a new kind of currency in this country. Yep, the Hurt Bills have arrived. After I came into acquisition of some paper currency this week (I know, I'm so wealthy) I decided to brand 10 bills with the infamous Hurt stamp. So Hurt All Stars and honorary members alike, keep your eyes open for these bad boys! They come as $20, $10, $5, and $1.

That's all for today.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Don't Judge.

You may or may not be aware that I like cats. Quite a bit, actually. (See photo evidence below.)

This mysterious and sometimes alienating characteristic of mine originated many years ago when I was still a wee one. Consequently, most of my childhood gifts had something to do with cats one way or another, and I was perfectly delighted by it.

This last weekend I was going through some of my childhood belongings, and I came across and old stamp set. "Victorian Cats: A Rubber Stamp Collection."

Nevermind why I ever asked for a Victorian Cats stamp set in the first; rather, let's focus on the cat pictured in the lower right hand corner of the box...


A ballerina cat. With broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and a generous bosom. I'm terrified. Are you terrified?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A Craigslist Adventure

Those of you who know me may or may not be aware that I have a certain fascination with Craigslist. My fascination began years ago in college when one of my roommates introduced me to the glory and embarrassment that is the Personals section (most notable, m4w). Since then, whenever I feel bored or down, I just take a gander at the m4w and have a good laugh, etc.

So last night in a bout of boredom, I wrote myself a "w4m" ad in my journal, just for kicks. After taking a mental journey 12 hours into my future, I decided to post it on CL to see who would respond to such a ludicrous ad requiring so much of the reader, and telling so very little about the poster. I also thought it went along nicely with the distant yet underlying theme of this blog, my extremely passive search for a temporary boyfriend for the summer.

So below, is the ad. And below that are samplings of some of the 30+ responses I've received in the last 9 hours.

Wanted: Temporary Boyfriend - 24 (west hollywood)

Duties: Looking hot, being awesome, acting suave, dining finely, buying drinks, making love (in da club?) lifting heavy objects, partaking in various other activities involving me.

Requirements: Must be between the ages of 24 and 28, must make some dollars of your own, must have car, must have teeth. Sense of humor is mandatory. College degree preferred.

Hours: 10am - 3am, 5 hour shifts, 2-3 times per week, not including overtime. Some weekends required. Position for only now through August 23rd, after which your services will no longer be requested, as I am moving across the country.

No references required. Head shots suggested.

Compensation: Being blessed with awesomeness for 5 hours a day, 2-3 days per week, for a month, learning sweet new moves and snazzy jokes, having me as arm candy, free dental consultation.

Serious inquiries only, please.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some of my favorite responses are as follows:

  • This is why unemployment is so high!!!!
  • Inquiring about you job post.
    I qualified in many ways. I have a vehicle, all my teeth, attractive, college educated, 5'11, 160lbs, white, formal personal trainer, fun, flexible hrs.! I hope I get the job in this economy, will work over time if nec.! Do you offer 401K?
  • Your compensation SUCKS! You sound unoriginal and boring. YAWN!
  • You got to be kidding me??? I have the feeling you really want a full time BF and yet your posting a PT positing in hopes to land a hot guy. YOUR sneaky! Just a side note, US HOT guys dates hot girls. We don't make any exception. We all have dental plans and still have access to the clubs.
    If you have something else to offer, please share it with me? Pictures, monterary compensation...i.e you women like to say for 120 roses you get to have me...:)
    thx

    Sigh.. So I supposed my hunt for Mr. Right Now continues, although I did receive this appealing picture from one gentleman... he's the one on the right ;) Cute huh??

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Alice in Wonderland Trailer

Ta-da!

The Curious Case of the Bare Assed Man


Lizzie and I are sitting in the Verizon store right now faced with this delightful view while waiting to be called in for Lizzie's phone repair. We suspect we must be on Candid Camera. In what other situation does one allow his ass to hang out in the open for 20 minutes on end? Doesn't he feel a slight draft down there? No one else here even seem to notice. In the words of a wise man, "What's going on!?"

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pay Me in Spiders.

Greetings from New York!

Inspired by my new blogitude, I wanted to share one of the enjoyable things I have recently been introduced to. It chronicles the attempts of a man to submit a drawing of a spider as a payment on one of his accounts.

Enjoy!



Thanks Lizzie!