Sunday, April 10, 2011

New Ketchup, WHERE ARE YOU?

It has been over a year now since I heard rumors about a new and magical ketchup packet - one that facilitates both dipping and squeezing (that's what she said?).  At the time, I couldn't have been more excited.  All of my wildest dreams were coming true - the way I fast food dined was about to be revolutionized!

So I waited. I perused local fast food joints.  In-n-Out? Nope. Still the ketchup pump + tiny paper cup disaster over the trash cans.  McDonalds? Nope. Still stingy with their sloppy "fancy" 1/2 oz ketchup packets.  And since we are on the topic, where do they get off calling these things fancy?

not fancy.
They are the lowest form of ketchup.  Nobody likes little ketchup packets - they are for ketchup beggars, people at McDonalds trying to douse their fries with another form of sodium, while the cashiers withhold it from us and get a God complex out of the whole ordeal.  You want fancy ketchup?

THIS. is the fanciest ketchup.
yes fancy.
Just so we're on the same page here.  Tiny, glass bottled, single serving ketchup.  FANCY.

Anyway.  I continued to search.  My active search became more passive as months passed, and after a little while, I had almost forgot about this new ketchup completely.

But sometimes every now and then, something will remind me - a french fry, a difficult to open "fancy," a large chicken nugget, and I suddenly feel alone and misled.

Please. If anyone finds the new ketchup, please fill me in on the whereabouts (so I can stock up).

No comments:

Post a Comment